Let’s first understand what Self-Love
is? Do we really understand this term and its importance in our lives?
Since the day we step into the
world, we are being overloaded with all sorts of different expectations.
Expectations to become a good child, a good friend; when we grow up, a good
spouse, a good individual, an efficient employee etc., we keep trying to keep
everyone happy around.
But have we ever thought while we
do all this, somewhere we keep losing a part of self each day. When was the
last time you looked into the mirror and smiled while looking into the mirror,
winked and complemented self for looking so beautiful, gorgeous, smart or said “Hey,
I Love You!”?
How many times you tried to join
a self-love program and then could not follow it properly leading to no results
and efforts?
What is this self-love by the way
for you? Is it over spending on shopping or gadgets or hanging out with friends
with whom you don’t seem to enjoy anymore but for friendship’s sake you go out
with them?
Do you really remember who you are?
Self-Love
is nothing but loving own-self and accepting yourself, the way God has
created you. To be happy and contented in your own self, taking good enough
care of self in all means whether cleanliness, loving, caring, pampering yourself by doing things you love to do.
So, how to go forward about this?
The ‘First Step’ towards Self-Love is always “Accepting SELF the way we are being created by the creator”.
Embrace the goodness God has blessed you with. We all are unique and have a purpose to fulfill on this Earth. The day we reach an age when we
start getting all sorts of social and mental conditioning, we start accessing
ourselves from other people's perspectives and judgements.
This is when we start ignoring
self and stop loving ourselves and start looking for approvals from others to
quantify ourselves according to how others see us? However, it is never about
how others see who we are? It is always who we are and how we stick to our own
reality.
The moment we start loving
ourselves we experience great positive shifts. The more we love ourselves, more
confident, radiant and happy we are. When Self Love resides within you, your
personal relationship to self and others automatically improves. You will feel
more young, lively, happy and healthy from within.
When you love and care for self,
your body will automatically release happy hormones and you will feel happy and
contented. Unless you love yourself, you cannot love others, unless you are
happy, you can never help others around feel happy.
Well, when you are in Love with your own self, you will:
Recognize and prioritize your "Needs" - Put yourself
first and then others. However, some people due to deep mental conditioning or
guilty may feel selfish, but believe me, it’s not!
Be Assertive - Learn to say "No"
when you can’t fulfill your commitment. Fake commitments or unrealistic
promises always fail. Do not commit if you can't fulfill it.
Enjoy the beauty of self and freedom of being true to yourself and
"Being You" - You will be a person you are meant to be and want
to be and not what others want you to be.
Identify Self-Love Boundaries - You will be able to identify what
is actually good for you and what is not. Self-Love will teach you how you want
and expect others to "TREAT" you? You will always know clearly what
things are acceptable in your life and what not.
Avoid "Self-Sabotaging" - Avoid self-sabotaging thoughts
and negative patterns in your life and the quality of your thoughts will
improve.
Stop Considering self as a "Victim" - You will definitely
stop accessing yourself as a victim. Whatever situations or people surround you
are being surrounded, you will stay more aligned to learn lessons and move
towards a brighter path ahead in life and will stop clinging to the past or
judging others doings or perceptions about you. Always remember "Experiences
are to refine and polish us as a person and as a soul", they don't
define us!
Share Love Unconditionally without feeling Drained/Emptiness – Is it
possible to drink water from an empty glass? Or imagine, you offering an empty
glass to someone, what will happen? This means, if you don't have enough of "Love" inside you, what you
are going to give to someone else be it your friends, family, spouse or this
world?
You have to have enough love
inside your heart and your whole self that you can share it with others without
feeling drained out from inside. Unless you have it, you won't be able to even give
it!
You don't look for Happiness Outside
and able to seek it within your own self - You feel much happier within
self and with others and will not seek happiness in the outside world as your
inner peace and joy will make you more contented from within.
Self-Love also means whatever does not serve you anymore or is
hurting you from childhood memories or past memories, let it go. Release it to
the divine light; this will make you feel lighter, happier and more peaceful
from within. Spend some "Me" time with self as it is not mandatory to spend your time with others always.
To love yourself, pamper
yourself, reward yourself, and pat your back on your achievements, even if no
one else does that. If you feel memories from childhood or past experiences
still haunts you, please visit an expert and heal your inner child. Release and
heal all those suppressed emotions, anger, resentments that cause you more
pain, more judgements.
Working on your self-confidence
can help you a lot as this is what sabotages the “self” part the most.
To heal & nourish your inner child, you may use the following
loving statements to say to yourself:
I Love You
Say it whenever you see yourself
in the mirror, window reflections. Say it in anytime anywhere you feel like. Initially
it may be difficult as we all are conditioned to love someone else outside of
ourselves, but with practice you will hone this skill. Love is the key to healing;
Love is the only eternal truth of this Universe, so love “You”.
I Hear You
Instead of suppressing the voice
of your inner child, say, “I hear you.
We’ll work together through it. Everything’s going to be okay.”
You Deserve Better
A child is innocent and pure. A
child deserves unconditional love, care, pampering and assurance. Care for your
inner child as much as you can because in each one of us there is an inner child
who needs to be cared for, nurtured and show some love.
I’m Sorry
There are times when you are
constantly stressed about not doing enough for self & others. You may
criticize self for being incapable or if you simply wanted to rest. So tell
your inner child you are sorry.
I Forgive You
One of the quickest ways to sabotage
ourselves is to hold on to guilt, shame and regret. Say to yourself - I forgive
myself for anything I could have done better to make myself feel happier. I was
only a kid, and like everyone, I was and am a human and imperfect. Nobody is
perfect and so I accept the faults in me.
Thank You
Say thank you to yourself for
being always being with you and supporting you constantly no matter what may
have had come your way. Give gratitude to your inner child for keeping you hold
on to the faith and hope.
You Had Put Your Best Efforts
Pat your back and appreciate and
enjoy your achievements even if no one appreciates. Believe in yourself and
your talents, creativity, abilities. Never lose hope and keep supporting
yourself all life. Even if you fail sometimes, don’t worry! Say to yourself “Better Luck Next Time!” Re-analyze what
went wrong and try again. You don’t have to be “Perfect” always.
Practice Forgiveness for self and others. Let go off unnecessary
burden holding you back. Forget and forgive and move on with life. Take experiences
as lessons and challenges and go on.
Smile and thank the divine always
for giving you another chance every day to complete your incomplete tasks and encourage
you to continue on the path of life with better confidence and hope.
Love yourself till eternity, because
only then you would be able to give love to others unconditionally.
Keep working on self, master
yourself, and grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally feeding only love within
self. Remember, Love is the only eternal truth of this universe! Do not forget
yourself in order to keep everyone happy around. The deeper and stronger
relationship you have with self, more you strengthen your relationship with all
around.
Fill your glass with self-love
only then you would be able to serve it to others with no expectations in
return because the more unconditionally you will give it others, more it will
come back to you amplified.
Love, Light, Peace, Gratitude and Lots of
Blessings to all!