Let
me first ask you what do you understand by “Parenting”? If you
have any of the below answers on your list, then you must switch to spiritual
parenting:
- Parenting
is related to babysitting only
- Bringing
up our children with values, traditions, culture only
- Making
them understanding the difference between righteousness and wrong choices
only
- Being
parent gives us the right to hold and lead their decisions and life
forever
- And
anything you have had been learning, understanding from many lives and
generations about being strict with them, or may be leading them all life,
make them feel guilty if they make mistakes etc. etc.
Ok,
why I am talking about this theory here is because in a diversified and rich in
culture country like ours, it is sometimes very difficult or almost impossible
to break the “dogma or deep rooted mind conditioning” which comes from
generations and generations.
Spiritual/Conscious
Parenting is a
parenting with the intention to empower your children to be unique individuals
they are intended to be.
You
as an individual and parent too have to understand that we are all spiritual
beings who come here on Earth with a purpose to live for, sometimes to
make contributions and sometimes to learn/teach lessons. If you are ready to
understand this only then we are aligned with our divine purpose that we truly
live for.
Have you
been ever or still going on with difficult relationships with your children;
are you facing lots of hustles and rebelling or may be clash of thoughts with
your children? You have had done everything for them, you made them stand too
so they can face life, they respect you, love you, but somewhere you realize a
connection of peace, harmony and deep love is missing between you and your
children, are you expecting too much from them or not able to express your love
for them? What stops you from bringing that innocent relationship thread back
into action between you and your children? Ask yourself, what stops you? You
will certainly get this answer for sure. If still you can’t get through it, I
will share it below soon.
When
was the last time you hugged your children (despite of the age and choices
they made in their lives) and made them feel worthy of your love? Ok, let's
ask this now, when was the last time, you expressed to them how much you love
them and believe in them, their dreams and aspirations even if they make
mistakes, disappointed you in the past, failed, made wrong choices in life?
Does their failure make you judge them - they are good for nothing?
If
for some reason your children aren’t able to give you complete financial
support, or have had hurt your expectations by taking certain decisions you
didn't agree with, do you still judge them basis on those choices and behavior?
How
as a parent you had been successful in understanding their dreams, emotions
which they never were able to even express due to your raised eyebrows
attitude, fear of rejection and judgements and faith in them or fear of not
even getting mental, emotional or financial support from you? How deeply you
think you know your children? Do you think you even know them yet? (Not in
context of their favorite color, food, nature or just visible behavior)
Do
only raising your children and giving them all facilities, highest possible
education and then dreaming them to earn lakhs or crores of salary packages or
turnovers buy them your approval of being an achiever for you?
No
matter how much you deny the fact and reality, do you compare your children’s
success with others or with their own siblings and judge their capabilities
basis that? Ask yourself and give an honest answer, as you can manipulate
answers for others but you can’t lie to your own soul, the divinity deep down.
Are
you finding a really challenging behavior and relationship pattern with your
children? Then it may be a divine sign or communication for you to look inside
for those things or issues that you may need to still work on rather than keep
blaming and judging your children.
As we
all know most of the times we see our own reflections in others especially when
you encounter repeated behavioral issues and patterns with someone and even if
you think you are right and haven’t done anything to get that reaction from the
other side, you still get it.
So,
you need to first understand, many parents had been really ignorant towards
their children as due to lack of awareness of certain things or own mind
conditioning from generations and life circumstances, they really need to know
and understand when raising or dealing with grown up children.
I
repeat myself here again, “it is not easy to be a parent and do all those
sacrifices for your children”, I do acknowledge this fact for sure,
however, what I want to share is a way to improve and save the precious and
most delicate relationship you share with your children.
When
you are raising your children or dealing with grownups too, make sure you avoid
the following, as children are really delicate and sensitive to these and this
can impact their lives forever:
- When
out of curiosity your child comes and ask you a question, do you rebuff
(scolding asking them to leave you alone) them or slap them?
- Your
child failed in exam or in a new business venture, what is that you tell
them first? Is it - “I told you, you won't be able to succeed in that,
you wasted your time and money” or “You don’t know how to gauge
people and their intentions and they make you a fool” and then you add a
grin smile expressions at them making them feel guilty or not worthy of
understanding & handling life on their own?
- Did
you often get irritate and slap your children on small incidents, curious
questions and situations?
- Have
ever emotionally and mentally abused your child (not just using abusing
words but tone also, using negative words and phrases to describe their
personality and behavior); no matter you were frustrated and took it
all out on them?
- Your
child wanted to pursue something creative like fashion designing or wanted
be a renowned Artist/Performer or something uncommon, what did you tell
him/her? Hope, you didn't tell them “How
much would you be even able to earn in this crap profession, what people
would say, you will bring shame to us by choosing this profession?”
- Did
you refuse to support them financially for a course they really wanted to
do and further pursue as their career? Will definitely let you know later
in the article why this shouldn’t have been done at all
- Do
you keep comparing your children, their performance and success with
others and keep telling them to pursue this or that as it will make you
earn more?
- Do
you often fight and quarrel in front of your children and abuse each other
as spouse or partner
- Have
you ever cursed your children out of frustration or ego? If you have had,
then don’t blame them for the time they are facing in their life which you
think is not favorable to even have their deserved abundance in life.
- Has
your behavior ever made them felt, they are adopted or not loved or valued
or may be unwanted ones?
So,
the above ones are few of the common things we often give to our children,
there are even more in certain cities or communities they go through. So if you
have given all this to your children then please do not expect them to give you
back opposite of all this.
The
rule of the universe remains the same for all of us no matter a parent or
children, if you give lack of love, lack of abundance, lack of happiness, lack
of confidence and beliefs, lack of understanding and support then this is what
with the rule of three you get back amplified.
If
your focus is not on “pure love” then you will only amplify what you
gave out to this world or the universe. If you are bias even when blessing
someone, your energies and intentions reflect to the other person, no matter
what you say from words, your energies will be caught by the other person
through the vibration you send to them.
The
first thing you must do is accept them as another soul, second let your
children fulfil their souls’ purpose, remember we all are souls with different
purposes, different outlook, thoughts or preferences. Look for signs or
messages for you in their behavior (it could be their hidden unexpressed
emotions and pain from childhood, which you may not have had even noticed).
If just by giving excuses and not acknowledging their pain you think you can
make your children feel better, you are completely wrong. You increase the
pressure of pent up emotions in them by doing so.
Never
tell your children “You are psycho, you are mad, you are good for
nothing, you are a failure, you are extra sensitive & take things
otherwise, you don’t know how to handle life, repeatedly when you keep telling
them you are aggressive, you are a failure”, you have a habit of taking
things to different levels; or when you ask them to suppress their desires,
emotions and don’t let them express their choices, logics and reasons behind
specific decisions they make, life partners they choose, etc. you push them
away from your love and understanding. This clearly gives them a sign that your
list of approvals is larger than the happiness and company of your children for
you because to get that love, they need to get approval by doing what you think
or prefer is right for you, and them. So, here, your love for them no more
remains unconditional and becomes a bit bias.
You
clearly tell the universe, “Hey! This is what I desire for my children,
fulfill it. The universe says “So be it! (Tathastu)” and manifest
exactly the same for you.