Are you practicing conscious or ignorant parenting? Spiritual or Conscious Parenting can assist you in achieving a more balanced approach toward parenthood.
Let me first ask you — what do you understand by parenting? If you resonate with any of the below listed, then you must switch to spiritual parenting:
- Parenting is only babysitting.
- Bring up children solely with values, traditions, and culture.
- Make them understand the difference between righteousness and avoiding wrong choices.
- Being a parent gives us the right to make and lead their decisions and lives forever.
- And anything you have learned or understood from lifetimes and generations about being strict with them, or possibly leading them all their lives, making them feel guilty if they make mistakes, and so on.
Being a parent is indeed challenging. I agree with this fact — what parents can do for us, we can never do for them. It is the eternal truth; however, there is always another side to the coin. There is a saying — Every coin has two sides.
Why am I bringing this up? Because in a country as diverse and rich in culture as ours, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to break the dogma or deep-rooted mental conditioning passed down through generations.
Spiritual/Conscious Parenting is parenting to empower your children to be the unique individuals they intend to be.
As an individual and a parent, you must understand that we are all spiritual beings who come here on Earth with a purpose to live for, sometimes to make contributions and sometimes to learn and teach lessons.
If you are ready and willing to understand this, you can align with the divine purpose for which you live on this planet.
Have you ever had or are you currently having a challenging relationship with your children? Are you dealing with hustles and rebelling a lot? Or a clash of ideas and thoughts with your children?
You have done everything for them. You made them stand on their feet to help them face the challenges in life. They respect and love you, but somewhere you realize a connection of peace, harmony, and deep love is missing between you.
Do you over-expect or fail to express your love for your children? What stops you from bringing that innocent relationship thread back into action between you and them? Ask yourself, what stops you? You will get this answer for sure. If you need help getting through, the below insights can help you.
Ask the following questions to yourself to dive a little deeper to self-introspect and identify your challenges:
When was the last time you hugged your children (despite the age and choices they made in their lives) and made them feel worthy of your love? OK, let us ask this now. When was the last time you expressed how much you love and believe in them, their dreams, and aspirations, even if they made mistakes, disappointed you in the past, failed, or made wrong choices? Does their failure make you judge them — they are good for nothing?
If, for some reason, your children fail to give you steady financial support or have hurt your expectations by making certain decisions you disagreed with, do you still judge them based on those choices and behavior?
How much could you succeed as a parent in understanding the dreams and emotions of your children? Which they failed to express due to your raised eyebrow attitude, fear of rejection and judgments, faith in them, or fear of not receiving mental, emotional, or financial support from you.
How deeply do you think you know your children? Do you think you even know them yet? (Not in the context of their favorite color, food, nature, or just visible behavior)
Does only raising your children and giving them all the material comforts with the highest possible education and then dreaming of them earning handsome salary packages or turnovers buy them your approval of being an achiever?
No matter how much you deny the facts and reality, do you compare their success with others or their siblings and judge their capabilities based on that?
Ask yourself and give an honest answer, as you may manipulate while answering to others, but you cannot lie to your soul, the divinity deep down.
Are you finding a challenging behavior and relationship pattern with your children? Then it may be a divine sign or communication for you to look inside for those things or issues you may need to still work on rather than blaming and judging your children.
As I had mentioned in a few of my previous articles, there are times when we see our reflections in others, especially when we encounter repeated behavioral issues and patterns with someone. Even if you think you are right and have not done anything to get that reaction from the other side, you still get it.
You must first understand that many parents have been ignorant towards their children due to their lack of awareness about certain things or mental conditioning passed on through generations and life circumstances. They need to know and understand this when raising or dealing with children. Conscious parenting plays a vital role in shaping our lives and relationships with our children.
When you are raising your children or dealing with grownups, make sure you avoid the following, as children are delicate and sensitive to these, and this can impact their lives forever:
- When your child comes out of curiosity and asks you a question, do you rebuff (scold them, asking them to leave you alone) them or slap them?
- Your child failed an exam or a new business venture. What should you tell them first? Is it — I knew you would not succeed in that, you wasted your time and money, or you fail to gauge people and their intentions, and they fool you, and then you add a grin smile expression at them, making them feel guilty or not worthy of understanding and handling life on their own?
- Did you often get irritated and slap your children over petty incidents, curious questions, and situations?
- Did you ever emotionally and mentally abuse your child? — not just using abusive words but also tone, using negative words and phrases to describe their personality and behavior, no matter how frustrated you were, and taking it all out on them.
- Your child wanted to pursue something creative like fashion designing or aspired to become a renowned artist or performer. What did you tell them? I hope you did not tell them — how much you would be able to earn in this crap profession? What would people say? Your career choice would bring shame to us.
- Did you refuse to support them financially for a course they wanted to pursue as their career? We will later discuss in the article why you should avoid such behavior or interaction with your children.
- Do you keep comparing your children, their performance, and success with others and tell them to pursue something that will make them earn more?
- Do you often fight and quarrel in front of your children and abuse each other as spouses or partners?
- Have you ever cursed your children out of frustration or ego? If you did, stop blaming them for the difficult times they are facing now. It deprives them of receiving the abundance they deserve in their life.
- Did you ever make them feel like they are adopted, not loved, valued, or unwanted?
The above points are common behavioral traits we often unconsciously cater to our children. There are certain cities or communities where children suffer even more in terms of mental and physical traumas.
The rule of the universe remains the same for all of us. It does not matter if we are parents or children. If you give a lack of love, abundance, happiness, limiting beliefs, and lack understanding and support, you receive it back amplified. The Law of three would work on its own.
If your focus is not on pure love, you will only amplify what you gave to this world or the universe. If you are biased even while blessing someone, your energies and intentions will reflect on the other person. No matter what you say, your energy and intentions get sensed by the other person through the vibration you send to them.
What can you do as a parent to heal your relationship with your children?
The first thing you must do is accept them as another soul.
Second, let your children fulfill their life purpose. Remember, we are all souls with different life plans, outlooks, thoughts, and preferences.
Look for signs or messages for you in their behavior (it could be their hidden, unexpressed emotions and pain from childhood, which you may not have even noticed).
You will make another mistake if you think you can make your children feel better by only giving them excuses and not acknowledging their pain.
You will increase the pressure of pent-up emotions on them by doing so.
When you keep telling them you are aggressive, a failure, good-for-nothing, mad, or are too sensitive and take things personally, they don’t know how to handle life. Or when you keep passing them judgments, or when you ask them to suppress their desires and emotions and don’t let them express their choices, logic, and reasons behind specific decisions they make, life partners they choose, etc., you push them away from your love and understanding.
It gives them an impression that the list of your approvals holds a greater significance in your life than the happiness and presence of your children. It could also make them feel mentally pressured and create a belief that your approval is essential to get your parental love. That ultimately creates a thought process for them that your love for them no longer remains unconditional and becomes a bit biased.
You tell the universe, Hey! That is what I desire for my children. Fulfill it. The universe says — So be it! (Tathastu) and manifests it for you.
Continued - Click to Read More in Parenting - A Spiritual Approach (Part - 2)
Grace & Love - Tejaswini (a.k.a Sakshi Vaashiisht)