Are you practicing healthy parenting or ignorant parenting? Spiritual Parenting can greatly assist you in achieving a more balanced approach to parenting.
Let me first ask you, what do you understand by "parenting"? If you have any of the below answers on your list, then you must switch to spiritual parenting:
- Parenting is related to babysitting only
- Bringing up our children with values, traditions, and culture only
- Making them understand the difference between righteousness and wrong choices only
- Being a parent gives us the right to hold and lead their decisions and lives forever
- And anything you've learned or understood from many lives and generations about being strict with them, or possibly leading them all their lives, making them feel guilty if they make mistakes, and so on
Being a parent isn’t an easy job. I completely agree with this fact: what they can do for us, we can never do it back for them. This is the eternal truth; however, there is always another side to the coin, as there is a saying about it, "Every coin has two sides."
OK, so why am I bringing this up? Because in a country as diverse and rich in culture as ours, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to break the "dogma or deep-rooted mind conditioning" that has been passed down through generations.
Spiritual/Conscious Parenting is parenting to empower your children to be the unique individuals they are intended to be.
You, as an individual and parent too, have to understand that we are all spiritual beings who come here on Earth with a purpose to live for, sometimes to make contributions and sometimes to learn and teach lessons. If you are ready to understand this, only then are we aligned with the divine purpose that we truly live for.
Have you ever had or are you currently having difficult relationships with your children; are you dealing with a lot of hustles and rebelling, or perhaps a clash of ideas with your children? You have done everything for them. You made them stand too, so they could face life. They respect you and love you, but somewhere you realize a connection of peace, harmony, and deep love is missing between you and your children. Are you expecting too much from them or not able to express your love for them? What stops you from bringing that innocent relationship thread back into action between you and your children? Ask yourself, what stops you? You will certainly get this answer for sure. If you still can’t get through it, I will share it below soon.
When was the last time you hugged your children (despite the age and choices they made in their lives) and made them feel worthy of your love? OK, let's ask this now. When was the last time you expressed to them how much you love them and believe in them, their dreams, and aspirations, even if they make mistakes, disappoint you in the past, failed, or make wrong choices in life? Does their failure make you judge them--they are good for nothing?
If, for some reason, your children aren’t able to give you complete financial support or have hurt your expectations by making certain decisions you didn't agree with, do you still judge them based on those choices and behavior?
How have you succeeded as a parent in understanding their dreams and emotions, which they were never able to express due to your raised eyebrows attitude, fear of rejection and judgments, faith in them, or fear of not receiving mental, emotional, or financial support from you? How deeply do you think you know your children? Do you think you even know them yet? (Not in the context of their favorite color, food, nature, or just visible behavior)
Does only raising your children and giving them all the facilities and the highest possible education and then dreaming of them earning handsome salary packages or turnovers buy them your approval of being an achiever?
No matter how much you deny the facts and reality, do you compare your children’s success with others or with their own siblings and judge their capabilities based on that? Ask yourself and give an honest answer, as you can manipulate answers for others, but you can’t lie to your own soul, the divinity deep down.
Are you finding a really challenging behavior and relationship pattern with your children? Then it may be a divine sign or communication for you to look inside for those things or issues that you may need to still work on rather than keep blaming and judging your children.
As we all know, most of the time we see our own reflections in others, especially when we encounter repeated behavioral issues and patterns with someone, and even if you think you are right and haven’t done anything to get that reaction from the other side, you still get it.
So, you need to first understand that many parents have been really ignorant towards their children due to their lack of awareness of certain things or their own mental conditioning from generations and life circumstances. They really need to know and understand when raising or dealing with grown-up children.
I repeat myself here again, "it is not easy to be a parent and make all those sacrifices for your children." I do acknowledge this fact for sure. However, what I want to share is a way to improve and save the precious and most delicate relationship you share with your children.
When you are raising your children or dealing with grownups too, make sure you avoid the following, as children are really delicate and sensitive to these, and this can impact their lives forever:
- When, out of curiosity, your child comes and asks you a question, do you rebuff (scold them, asking them to leave you alone) them or slap them?
- Your child failed an exam or is in a new business venture. What should you tell them first? Is it-"I told you, you won't be able to succeed in that, you wasted your time and money" or "You don’t know how to gauge people and their intentions and they make you a fool" and then you add a grin smile expression at them, making them feel guilty or not worthy of understanding and handling life on their own?
- Did you often get irritated and slap your children for small incidents, curious questions, and situations?
- Have you ever emotionally and mentally abused your child (not just using abusive words but tone also, using negative words and phrases to describe their personality and behavior, no matter how frustrated you were, and took it all out on them?
- Your child wanted to pursue something creative like fashion designing or wanted to be a renowned artist or performer. What did you tell him/her? I hope, you didn't tell them, "How much would you be able to earn in this crap profession? What people would say: you will bring shame to us by choosing this profession?"
- Did you refuse to support them financially for a course they really wanted to do and further pursue as their career? I will definitely let you know later in the article why this shouldn’t have been done at all.
- Do you keep comparing your children, their performance, and success with others and keep telling them to pursue this or that as it will make them earn more?
- Do you often fight and quarrel in front of your children and abuse each other as spouses or partners?
- Have you ever cursed your children out of frustration or ego? If you have had it, then don’t blame them for the time they are facing in their life, which you think is not favorable to even having their deserved abundance in life.
Has your behavior ever made them feel like they are adopted, not loved, valued, or maybe unwanted?
The above ones are a few of the common things we often give to our children. There are even more in certain cities or communities where they go through. So if you have given all this to your children, please do not expect them to give you back the opposite of all this.
The rule of the universe remains the same for all of us, no matter if we are parents or children. If you give a lack of love, lack of abundance, lack of happiness, lack of confidence and beliefs, lack of understanding and support, then this is what with the rule of three you get back amplified.
If your focus is not on "pure love", then you will only amplify what you gave out to this world or the universe. If you are biased, even when blessing someone, your energies and intentions will reflect on the other person. No matter what you say, your energies will be caught by the other person through the vibration you send to them.
The first thing you must do is accept them as another soul. Second, let your children fulfill their souls’ purpose. Remember, we are all souls with different purposes, different outlooks, thoughts, and preferences. Look for signs or messages for you in their behavior (it could be their hidden, unexpressed emotions and pain from childhood, which you may not have even noticed). If you think you can make your children feel better by just giving excuses and not acknowledging their pain, you are completely wrong. You increase the pressure of pent-up emotions on them by doing so.
When you keep telling them you are aggressive, are a failure, good for nothing, mad, or they are extra sensitive and take things personally, they don’t know how to handle life. When you keep passing them judgments, or when you ask them to suppress their desires and emotions and don’t let them express their choices, logic, and reasons behind specific decisions they make, life partners they choose, etc., you push them away from your love and understanding. This clearly gives them a sign that your list of approvals is larger than the happiness and company of your children for you because to get that love, they need to get approval by doing what you think or prefer is right for you, and them. So, here, your love for them no longer remains unconditional and becomes a bit biased.
You clearly tell the universe, "Hey! This is what I desire for my children. Fulfill it. The universe says "So be it! (Tathastu)" and manifests exactly the same for you.