Your
words may be “I am not bias with both of my children, but are your actions
matching your words and tone?” If not then stop lying to yourself and them
also that you are not bias. Accept you are being biased just because one of
them could not fulfill your desires as you expected to be.
So,
what is that you get then, aggressive, abusive, inobedient and rebellious
children with lack of love, empathy and respect for you while you grow old. So,
your words, intentions, emotions behind your words and feelings make a huge
impact on not only your own life, but for your children and rest family life
too.
For
you as an elderly, it may be a small thing or act, however, for Crystal and
Indigo Children (most sensitive and emotional/empathetic to human behavior/energies),
it may be more in terms of depth or impact than to yours.
You
may have had been ignorant to energies, and had been more into earthly mind
conditioning due to lack of awareness and self-realization or spiritual
guidance, but these days the newer generation of souls coming into existence
are metaphysically aware about their existence and yearn & long for
acknowledgement of their preferences, emotions and freedom of making choices
and not being judged based on them.
How
would you feel if your children start judging you back? You would never want to
hear from them you being a bad parent, right? Why? For God, everyone is on same
level, then why not?
Let
me answer here for you, because you have this conditioning from many lifetimes
and generations that elders are meant to be respected (which is true, they
must be). As a parent you have the right to choose what’s best for them or
say anything to them, but here is the twist, you forget, they are your
children, not non-living things which would not affect them no matter what you
say or behave with them and they must accept it even if it is not right. But if
you do something wrong in terms of behavior or biasness with your children, how
many times you have identified it, realized it, accepted it and said sorry to
your children?
So,
now I know the first thought you will get here is, “Saying sorry to our
children!?!” Big deal huh! So, now the real obstacle comes here,
“Your Ego”. Ego of being superior, elder, a parent, more
experienced, more knowledgeable, against the norms, traditions & values etc.
etc. This “Ego” is the main cause of your pain. The cause of unhealthy,
unloving and too stringent relationship with self and all around including your
children.
So,
what is that we can do to practice Spiritual Parenting? Below are some tips,
you can start incorporating in your parenting or life, that will immediately
bring positive shifts in your hurtful relationships with your children or can
save the growing one for future:
Put
aside your Ego - When
you interact with your children, put aside your ego of being superior and more
experienced than your kids, as it is not we who get experience, even a small
child can be more intelligent and spiritually conscious than an adult with lots
of other experiences, so don’t belittle them by ever expressing this thought or
words or gestures that we are better than you and you know nothing. Remember - Shri Krishna was also a
child and killed many demons during his childhood, so it is not how old
and powerful you are physically, it is about, how conscious you are mentally,
emotionally and metaphysically too.
Let
go of your Desires, Agendas and Expectations - Put aside your own desires,
agendas and expectations allowing the divine plans and agendas for your
children to unfold and be executed as per divine timing and their life purpose.
These desires could be:
- Desiring
your children to be who we wish we could be or we wanted them to pursue
what we could not in our times
- Expecting
our children to be clone or copy of ourselves
- Forcing
our children to do something or be like someone else to be
socially-acceptable
- Expecting
and desiring too much from our children to be our trophies of fame,
recognition and proud parents to bring relief to the pain or guilt we
carry for our own incompetency and failures in from our times and
experiences
- Expecting
your children to be an example of perfection and mannerism all the time
- Expecting
your children to always agree with your thought process, preferences,
decisions and choices - not letting them choose and decide for themselves,
stopping them indirectly from experiencing life and learning their own
lessons
What
else you can do to practice Spiritual Parenting:
- Focus
towards how you can help them be themselves
- Honor
and Nurture their
spirituality - the courage, faith and connection to their own spiritual
self will give them strength and confidence to choose and live with the
divine guidance received
- Help
them how to identify and hone the connection with their spiritual self,
this will help them follow their unique path more effortlessly and
confidently
- As
a parent, you have to accept this reality that children are just not
humans they come naturally and spiritually aligned, it is our mind
conditioning after they grow up which imbalances their spiritual alignment
and faith in spirituality by believing what we tell them and not what they
must know about life spiritually
- Invite
your children to join you during your spiritual practices & help them
understand the true beliefs but remember that the real purpose is to help
them find what works best for them; this is why Buddhists follow
this approach traditionally in their family and lineages
So,
it is not that you and your family are spiritual so you will be 100% perfect in
all that you do, you are still a soul in human body to live and learn your
lessons, you may lose your temper, you may get disappointed with each other,
you may disagree with each other also sometimes, but how we deal and overcome
all these challenges and get back to normalcy and in a state of non-judgmental,
divine pure/unconditional love is what matters and is the greatest savior of
all relationships.
It is
not wrong, insulting or to belittle you to having you genuinely apologize for
what you have had hurt your children in past or present emotionally or mentally
for. Forgiveness is not one way, it is a two way process for both sides of
people and souls involved to help each other release the resentments, anger,
emotions, and what does not serve our highest good and free each other from
that cling cord of unattended wounds, emotions, disappointments, if you leave
the wound open, it will get severe and may damage deeply. So, if you have
wounded someone knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally no
matter yourself, your spouse, your children or anyone, it is your core
responsibility to dissolve that karma and hurt there and then by asking for and
forgiving one for that hurt and release that painful cord of attachment not
only for the betterment of that person, but your own self and that relationship
to remain peaceful and in harmony. Forgiveness is the key to open doors to pure
unconditional love.
By
apologizing you are not apologizing to your children or someone younger, you
are apologizing another soul by telling them you want peace with them and you
realize your mistake that you have done wrong to them. By not asking for and
forgiving others, you contract the possibilities of being in peace and harmony
with your loved ones deepening the pain in their wounds, you never even knew
that unintentionally you may have had given to them.
So, Spiritual
Parenting not only gives a nurtured upbringing to our children but it makes
us also an ego free soul & in divine alignment and in consent & agreement
with the divine truth of all souls living here as humans for their individual
journeys to go through.
Concluding
with a loving statement here - We all are one, we all are children of God, the experiences and
difficulties with each other gives us opportunities to strengthen our bonds and
improving our understanding with each other & infuse the roots of deep
unconditional love into our hearts and souls for each other.
Leave
your children with memories they would love to recall and respect you for when
you are not with them in human form anymore and not to express their agitation,
hatred, resentment or curse your soul all life for the consequences they will
be bearing and dealing with in absence of these loving memories.
Stop
judging, being bias and un-acknowledging and become a proud parent by giving
right nourishment not only to your own soul but also to the souls of your
little angels (your children who will remain your angels no matter what age
they are).
Love,
Light, Peace, Gratitude and Lots of Blessing to all!!!!
We
all are souls in human form; cherish this life to live it at fullest!!!