So, what do you get then? Aggressive, abusive, in-obedient, and rebellious children with a lack of love, empathy, and respect for you while you grow old? Your words, intentions, and emotions behind your words and feelings have a huge impact on not only your own life, but on your children's and the rest of your family's lives too.
For you, as an elderly person, it may be a small thing or act. However, for Crystal and Indigo children (most sensitive and emotional/empathetic to human behavior and energies), it may be more in terms of depth or impact than for you.
You may have been unaware of energies and more into earthly mind conditioning due to a lack of awareness, self-realization, or spiritual guidance, but the newer generation of souls coming into existence are metaphysically aware of their existence and yearn for acknowledgement of their preferences, emotions, and freedom to make choices without being judged for them.
How would you feel if your children started judging you back? You would never want to hear from them that you were a bad parent. Right? Why? For God, if everyone is on the same level, then why not us at a human level?
Let me answer this here for you, because you have this conditioning from many lifetimes and generations that the elderly are meant to be respected (which is true, they must be). As a parent, you have the right to choose what’s best for them or say anything to them, but here is the twist: you forget that they are your children, not non-living things, which would not affect them no matter what you say or do with them, and they must accept it even if it is not right. But if you do something wrong in terms of behavior or being biassed with your children, how many times have you identified it, realized it, accepted it, and apologized to your children?
So, now I know the first thought you will get here is, "Saying sorry to our children!" Big deal, huh? So, now the real obstacle comes here: "Your Ego" superior ego, elderly, parents, more experienced, more knowledgeable, defying norms, traditions, and values, etc. This "ego" is the main cause of your pain, the cause of an unhealthy, unloving, and too stringent relationship with yourself and everyone around you, including your children.
So, what is it that we can do to practice spiritual parenting? The following are some tips you can start incorporating into your parenting or life that will immediately bring positive changes in your hurtful relationships with your children or can save the growing one for the future:
Put aside your ego-When you interact with your children, put aside your ego of being superior and more experienced than your kids, as it is not we who get experience, even a small child can be more intelligent and spiritually conscious than an adult with lots of other experiences, so don’t belittle them by ever expressing this thought, words, or gesture that we are better than you and you know nothing. Remember, lord Krishna was also a child and killed many demons during his childhood, so it is not about how old and powerful you are physically, it is about how conscious you are mentally, emotionally, and metaphysically too.
Let go of your desires, agendas, and expectations- Put aside your own desires, agendas, and expectations, allowing the divine plans and agendas for your children to unfold and be executed as per divine timing and their life purpose. These desires could be:
- Wanting our children to be who we wished we could be, or to pursue things we couldn't in our time.
- Expecting our children to be clones or copies of ourselves.
- Forcing our children to do something or be like someone else to be more socially acceptable.
- We expect and desire too much from our children to be our trophies of fame, recognition, and proud parents to alleviate the pain or guilt we carry for our own incompetence and failures in our time and experiences.
- Expecting your children to be examples of perfection and mannerism all the time is unrealistic.
- Indirectly, expecting your children to always agree with your thought process, preferences, decisions, and choices—not letting them choose and decide for themselves—prevents them from experiencing life and learning their own lessons.
Instead, allow your children to be who they really are. Show and express to them that you value and encourage their truth and for being a unique soul in this universe. Show them respect equally as an individual with different choices, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and desires as you would do for yourself. Respect their decisions as well, and support them regardless of whether they succeed or fail.
What else can you do to practice spiritual parenting? Here are a few vital points to ponder:
- Focus on how you can help them be themselves.
- Honor and nurture their spirituality—the courage, faith, and connection to their own spiritual self will give them strength and confidence to choose and live with the divine guidance received.
- Help them learn how to identify and hone the connection with their spiritual self. This will help them follow their unique path more effortlessly and confidently.
- As a parent, you have to accept the reality that children are human too. They come naturally and spiritually aligned. It is our mind conditioning after they grow up that imbalances their spiritual alignment and faith in spirituality by believing what we tell them and not what they must know about life spiritually.
- Invite your children to join you during your spiritual practices. Help them understand the true beliefs, but remember that the real purpose is to help them find what works best for them; this is why Buddhists traditionally follow this approach in their family and lineages.
It is not that you and your family are spiritual, so you will be 100% perfect in all that you do. You are still a soul in a human body to live and learn your lessons. You may lose your temper, you may get disappointed with each other, you may disagree with each other sometimes, but how we deal with and overcome all these challenges and get back to normalcy in a state of non-judgmental, divine pure or unconditional love is what matters and is the greatest savior of all relationships.
It is not wrong, insulting, or belittling to have you genuinely apologize for what you have done to hurt your children in the past or present, emotionally or mentally. Forgiveness is a two-way process in which both sides of the people and souls involved help each other release resentments, anger, emotions, and what does not serve our highest good and free each other from that clinging cord of unattended wounds, emotions, and disappointments. If the wound is left open, it will become severe and may cause deep damage. So, if you have wounded someone knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, no matter yourself, your spouse, your children, or anyone, it is your core responsibility to dissolve that karma and hurt there and then by asking for and forgiving that person for that hurt and releasing that painful cord of attachment not only for the betterment of that person, but for your own self and that relationship to remain peaceful and in harmony. Forgiveness is the key to opening doors to pure unconditional love.
By apologizing, you are not apologizing to your children or someone younger; you are apologizing to another soul by telling them you want peace with them and you realize your mistake that you have done wrong to them. By not asking for and forgiving others, you limit the possibilities of being in peace and harmony with your loved ones, deepening the pain in their wounds. You had no idea what you had unintentionally given to them.
So, spiritual parenting not only gives a nurtured upbringing to our children, but it also makes us an ego-free soul, in divine alignment and in consent and agreement with the divine truth of all souls living here as humans on their individual journeys to go through.
We are all one; we are all children of God, and our experiences and difficulties with each other provide opportunities to strengthen our bonds, improve our understanding of each other, and instill the roots of deep unconditional love into our hearts and souls for each other.
Leave your children with memories they will cherish and respect you for when you are no longer with them in human form, and teach them not to express their rage, hatred, resentment, or curse your soul for the consequences they will bear and deal with in the absence of these loving memories.
Stop judging, being biased, and not acknowledging and become a proud parent by providing proper nourishment not only to your own soul but also to the souls of your little angels (your children who will remain your angels regardless of age).