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Finding My Soul

This story is about finding my soul back and triumphing over the odds of the life I went through. During the monsoon of July 2016, on a beautiful day, I recalled how many repeated setbacks I had in my life. I flipped through the pages of my book of life, reviewing the chapters like rewinding a movie clip and realizing what a mess my life had become in the past ten years. Nothing seemed to work in my life back then, and everything I tried failed. I saw myself losing myself in terms of happiness, contentment, success, and everything else. It was ardently clear that I should take a long break and rewind the movie of my life to magnify where I went wrong. Everything was a bed of roses until 2005, when my maternal grandmother suddenly passed away, leaving us in shock. We were close emotionally, and she had been my lucky mascot. She is still my lucky mascot as a soul. However, I suffered that first emotional loss, which deeply affected me. Everything after her passing went upside down in my life, whether making choices in life or everything else I did. I was blinded by the illusions and fears eminently that I could not see through the veils about what exactly went wrong. That finally made me realize that I was on the wrong path in my life. My soul never chose that path. Furthermore, I needed to reflect on life and figure out what caused this mess in my life. I swiftly decided to fly to Dehradun and travel solo to Rishikesh for a week, recalling my love for travel and how it helped me heal. Sitting alone at the banks of the holy Ganges, listening to the beautiful songs of the waves, calmed all the chaos and storms within me. I realized why I was happier during my innocent childhood, why nothing bothered me about what was going around me, and why I fell into the trap of this worldly illusion. The calming sounds of the waves helped me reconnect with my soul self, which reminded me to look beyond all the veils of illusions, challenges, pains, and hurts. Looking deeper through the eyes of Mother Nature, I realized that all I was missing was unconditional love for myself. The love of God, the love of Mother Nature, has all the power to heal the deepest wounds and fill my soul with an infinite source of divine unconditional love. This love makes me feel complete. Eventually, I recalled how I was congruent with the divine and Mother Nature during my childhood. Hence, I never felt to look outside myself for anything because I had everything I needed within myself. This very first solo trip helped me find the essence of my soul. Since then, I have never looked back on life, and this is how my spiritual journey to find my soul started, which gradually guided me through various stages of my evolution as a human and as a soul. I could look and understand beyond worldly situations and illusions to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. Gradually, I started meditating, which helped me connect to my higher soul, through which I could find my higher soul self and find my true passion for creative talents in addition to what I was doing for my living. Eventually, I started researching more about holistic science and therapies, which helped me go deeper into living a life that was more in harmony with Mother Nature and the divine source. It has been six years since I ensure to find time for myself and meditate. Spending time with myself helps me keep a check on my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Today I am in a much happier space, more content, confident in handling the challenges in life, reflecting through life fearlessly, and making necessary changes to stay healthy in all aspects of life. By the way, being alone is different from being lonely. There is a fine line between the two, and I make sure I do not cross to the other side by surrounding myself with people and energies that are more loving, uplifting, and nourishing to my soul, as well as more fulfilling in life. Spending personal time with myself allowed me to talk to my soul, listen to the whispers of my soul self, and make choices that are not only for my higher good but also for others surrounding me, which helped me to follow my soul's guidance and be more congruent with the Universe. When we are in harmony with the Universe, everything falls into place, and there is no chaos in our lives. Inspite of all challenges in life, we can maintain our mental and emotional balance; can deal with all high tides gracefully with love and compassion in our hearts. All of this helped me realize that it is indeed vital for each of us to be more sensitive, compassionate, understanding, respectful, and forgiving toward ourselves and others. Eventually, this will help in letting go of what is not serving our highest good and gracefully moving on with the flow of life. It reduces stress levels, self-criticism, and negative self-talk and gives me an unobstructed vision of my goals in life, whether professional or personal. With this transformation, I now see this world with a different glass altogether. Finally, I realized that as within so without. The outer world reflects what we need to address and heal within. Now, I am more balanced with my approach and perspective towards life, and whatever comes as a challenge helps me see the bigger picture of life. Author — Tejaswini.

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